Dad Needs Help.

I Need Help. I am up against it, as is the story of my life as long as I can remember. I mean my whole life has been a struggle, with my mom being a drug addict and my father never being there. I was put in foster care at the age of 7 when my 14 month old sister was murdered and thrown on a golf course like trash. My brother and i spend 2 years together, then CPS split us up. I battled the reason of my existence in every one of the 26 different foster homes and group homes I was in. When I was getting beat and sometimes worse. The whole time I could not stop thinking. What is wrong with me. Why do my parents not love me. Did i do something wrong. I WILL DO BETTER. When I finally aged out at the age of 18. I have been so messed up from hearing all those people tell me. All I was going to be was another "Foster kid welfare drug addict statistic". Just to reunite with my brother a couple years latter. Thinking FINALLY  i have someone. To have the universe have him take his own life. ALL MY LIFE I have never had ANYONE. So I struggled with addiction battling my depression and demon from my childhood. In and out of incarceration,  homelessness pretty much anything you can think of. I did not care what happened. I mean why should I no one else did. Until the day I was incarcerated and I received a letter from CPS (Child Protection Services). Containing the information that my 2 children were being neglected and suffering maltreatment...... THAT.... was the hardest thing to process in my life. IT was 1 thing to have my Negligence effect me and ruin my life. Like I said no one cares about me why should I. But not being able to protect my 2yr old daughter and 6yr old son at the time. I felt like the biggest peice of GARBAGE in the world. So I did everything I could from then on to change that. As the letters stated that they were about to place in foster care. I could not have them go through the same things that I did, And I didn't. I got out of incarceration with a $40 "Gate check" from the institution and prison clothes at the ages of 27. With in 3 weeks I got a job at a restaurant as a dishwasher. Within a month and a half I had physical custody of my kids. I continued to work my way up in the restaurant while proving to the Child Justice system, that I had learned my lesson and was going to be a good father. So they would drop the in home dependence proceedings that were occurring. Finally I had done so and was able to move forward with my divorce. So I could start my new life. I was granted FULL custody of my children. As that's all I asked except me deceased brothers watch..... that I later found in a pawn shop. As I gave her all other materialistic items and vowed not to look back. As that is what I did I continued to work my way from dishwasher, to pizza maker, cook, then finally server in the next 3 year. Walking 2 miles to work and back. Before finally obtaining my licenses for the 1st time. Within 3 years I had my kids a new fiance and a car. I then completed the 3yrs probation with no violations. To join the labors union. As that's the only way I knew to provide being an old knucklehead. Within 4 years and 8 months I finally bought my 1st house. All on my own. No MOM NO DAD NO HELP. I then sold it after 3 years to get a larger one as the family grew with the new addition of my youngest son. And started letting my disabled mother-in-law live with us. As she is on a fixed income and can't afford it on her own when her husband left her. All while paying off almost $20k in criminal fines off. To complete my debt to society being paid in full.Which I have owned for almost 3 years as I have been out 10yrs with no slip ups. I get random UA test as I am a member of the labors union, I it helps me stay clean. But now I have hit a road block. And I don't know what to do. As I have had a hernia for over 1 year and was still going to work. As I had no other choice because of having no support of any kind. Just to have coworkers tell upper management about my medical condition resulting in me getting laid-off, as I was a "LIABILITY" . Not once did I complain. Now I just had a robot assist lathropstopic hernia repair surgery 2 days ago can't work as that's all I know how to do and. Have had to bills stacking up the whole time. And now am just buying time on the home foreclosure. It is the most humiliating feeling in the world. To work so hard to provide something different for your kids. Just to loss it all because of something you have no control over. As I have worked no matter what. This is my 3rd hernia repair now being 37. It is the 1 thing other then being a dad that I am proud about.... being a good hard worker. I don't spend my money of frivolous things. I don't have a sports car or a boat that I fish in all the time. Or even go fishing or hunting at all. All my $$$ goes to my wife and kids. So it pains me to do this and ask for help because it is the one thing that I have to be proud about is breaking the cycle of dysfunctionalisam. With my own 2 hands. Not asking for a handout or begging for anything. Shoot my wife and I got married at the court house and never had a wedding reception let alone a honeymoon. So there it is guys.... my heart and soul. Do with it what you will. As I have not had any good luck my life. Not asking for anyone to carry my. Just some help as embarrassing as that is. If you read this thank you. Weather or not you help financial. Thank you for you taking the time out of your busy day.