Raising money for rent and other bills after one of the hardest years of my life thus far. Laid off from 1 job + lost 2 part-time jobs + 2 roommates fell through + heartbreak and total betrayal from boyfriend of 5 years.
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This year has been one of the toughest years of my life…
Where to even begin. This past year I've felt hexed. NO other way to describe it. With -$10 in my checking account, and rent of $1300 on the 1st (same amount as my unemployment from being laid off last month) I feel pretty hopeless right now.
Forgive the length, just can't even begin to explain all of it any other way, so I'm laying it all out there. This is a last ditch effort to avoid having to face potential homelessness with my 13 year old dog as the bills are piling up even with cutting my budget down drastically.
Stuff thats happened to me this year:
Needless to say it’s been one of the most TRYING years of my entire life. Up until this year i’ve never been fired from any jobs in my entire 33 years of life - the ones I was fired from were working for my exs moms friends, but I’m crazy for thinking our breakup had anything to do with it. Either way, all of the above has felt very much out of my control and all of it’s felt BEYOND soul crushing.
The theme for 2023 for me has been: You're just not good enough, and you'll be pinned against others and lose more than you could ever even imagine.
I have been told I'm an optimistic person, but I know for a fact I haven't been this year and last because it's just been one thing after another.
I have no idea how I’m even going to make rent and bills, and although I’m working Oktoberfest I won’t be paid until later in October. I have even gone as far to start praying this year, which isn't really something i’ve done since I was a kid, so far it's not working.
The level of shame I feel for not being able to ask those I know for help is at times too much to bare, thats really why i’m here. Maybe nothing will become of this, but maybe it will surprise me and restore my faith in humanity. I've given to MANY crowdfunding campaigns, but never been in such a tough spot where I'm writing one for myself.
It seems when things are going well for you, you have so many friends around you that are along for the ride, but when you’ve fallen on hard times many of those people disappear. You really start to question things. I am grateful for all that I have and for all the opportunities I've been given by those that I didn't expect to step up and help me.
Those that've recently helped me by feeding me when it's obvious I'm skipping meals, along with emotional support. These types of people hold a special place in my heart.
Hoping to pay it forward once I get back on my feet. Literally anything helps at this point. If you have made it this far, thank you so much for taking the time to read my story. It was really hard to write.
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